Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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