google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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