I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
