You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
