And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
