I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
What drink are we having for lunch?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
