i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
