i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize