id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
