I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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