Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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