Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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