i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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