You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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