Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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