his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
