3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize