guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
