Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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