We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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