That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
