I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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