this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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