I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
