you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I could fuck to npr.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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