I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
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When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
How's work?
Spinning.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
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Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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