You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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