I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
