Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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