if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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