I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize