Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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