if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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