I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
