# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize