i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
