every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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