I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
