I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
