Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
