i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
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Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
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Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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