Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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