I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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