my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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