Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
