she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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