but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
