Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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