My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
