Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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