I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
