I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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