it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
