new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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