smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
