I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
