you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
