Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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