dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
