Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
