Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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