do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
