dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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