btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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