the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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