you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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