didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize