call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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